It can be hard to jump into a blog post. So much has been happening in Zach's world and, by connection, ours. I think it's best if I give a sort of update to catch you up to speed.
Zach graduated from the county MRDD in 2017 at the age of 21. Students can only attend up to their 22nd birthday, and we knew it would be disruptive to begin a year and then be yanked out during Christmas break, so he wrapped up his year in spring. Zachary loved school (he sometimes still asks for it). He was known, loved, and appreciated there, and it was the best decision we could have made to send him there. There were snags and bumps at times, but overall Zach was very well cared for and for that, I am grateful.
Zach's school always did a fabulous job at celebrations. Prom, to which family members were invited, was always AMAZING, with decorations that could rival any prom any where. Graduation was lovely, with the spotlight on the graduates. My sister admired how the staff gave each student just enough support without overstepping or taking the limelight off the students. Zach's teacher, Miss M, was happy to pose with Zach's first great teacher at the school, Mrs. D. Mrs. D hadn't been to the school since her retirement, so we were beyond pleased that she accepted our invitation. My dad was able to attend, and all of Zach's siblings were there to support him. It was wonderful.
One of the unorthodox things we asked for from our local school district was to allow Zach to walk for graduation at the public high school. Technically, even though a student attends the MRDD school. they are still a student of the district. They were happy to let him do so, an accommodation for which I was grateful. The local school has their ceremony on the football field, with visitors in the stands. Miss M, herself a graduate of the school, accompanied Zach. I didn't know how much it meant to Zach to be included this way until we took pictures after the ceremony. There are different smiles we get when we take pictures of Zach. There is the cheesy cheese smile, which is forced and posed ("Just take it already, Mom!"), the really frustrated grimace smile (we are really pushing our luck at this point), and the one we see when Zach is truly happy or when photos are candid. Truth be told, this smile is the most elusive and is the relaxed, genuine, beaming smile Zach shared with us after the graduation ceremony at the local high school.
For an adult like Zach, leaving the world of school is not quite the exciting milestone it is for many young adults. Instead of colleges, we visited day programs and workshops. One of the assessments Zach went through his senior year was something the OOD (Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities) put together. We were "trail blazers" they said. Zach was a guinea pig, I say. Basically the idea is that all people value money and want to work to make money (or so they think). In order to determine at what level an individual can work, they are left with an adult they have never met for several hours for several days (they wanted him to do something like a full time work week but we knew that was unrealistic so we requested a truncated amount of time) doing work without any of the supports he was used to (picture boards, known prompts, etc...) to see if they can enter the workforce in an equal capacity as a neurotypical peer. We knew Zach could not work without supports, but we also know that he was very successful at his school working in a liaison group and on crew helping maintain the school. Long story short it was a stressful flop and it was determined that Zach could work for less than minimum wage due to his need for supports. We could have told them in simple terms that he wasn't going to work on the same level as a similarly aged peer. 🙄 It was a colossal waste of time and, I assume, state monies. Maybe it works for some people, but like many things, was not set up with somebody like Zach in mind. It is interesting to me how many programs that are meant to "help" individuals actually set them up for failure.
After looking at several day programs and workshops we decided to have Zach attend a day program that was like a mini - farm. He was to help take care of animals and continue to work on math and reading and other academics. This was important to the owner. As someone who had worked with disabled individuals she noticed a lack of continuing education as people entered adulthood, and it helped her decide to start her own place. The setting was small and cozy and we liked the owner's philosophy and down - to - earth nature. They were willing to prepare gluten free food we sent in for Zach, and willing to accommodate him in ways that were more flexible than other places we visited.
Fast forward to today, and Zach is still attending this day program. We know and care about the owner and her family. The facility has grown and I often recall a dear friend's words about finding programs for Zach. Basically there will never be a perfect fit, but what we can do is look for the BEST fit.
I think I will leave off there for the night. We had a big day today and a big day tomorrow. Thank you for checking in.
<3 Maria
